Which one is worse..stepping in horse crap...or human crap? my guess is human crap...because we all know a horses diet doesn't consist of much more than hay, oats and the occasional peppermint. but human crap..yeah we know we are some dirty eating bastards.... McDonalds double cheeseburgers...skyline chili....i for sure dont want to step on a human turd.....like you know...you are gonna be walking down the sidewalk and be like..."dammit who took a shit on the sidewalk"....the quantity of a horse turd though....a big pile of it..is pretty massive. but then again...ive seen some human turds that i should have taken a picture of.
i often think about how cool it would have been of the pre-nazi germane would have taken part in more colonialism...the idea that perhaps south america could be completely German speaking.... it just seems neat to thin about..highly unlikely..but none the less.
not to go out on a limb to much here....but the tv show jackass and boxing have a lot in common.....youre getting paid to hurt yourself...i beg the question...would you let mike tyson punch you in the face with a boxing glove on for a coo one million dollar....im not gonna pay it out personally..but there was some sort of gam show hosted by regis philbin and his one time partner kathy lee gifford....or is it just kathy lee...any ways....it has the production and intensity of deal or no deal...but you basically just let tyson hit you in the face ....obviously its gonna jack you up pretty bad....but the network will incur all medical costs..leaving you with about 750grrrrrrr after taxes....i think id do it....speaking on that i would eat a human turd for a million dollars..and i would eat it on a plate with a fork and knife...but that is only if i can dictate the contents of the turd i am eating....for example..im set up to eat a turd..but i can tell the person what to eat...i would tell the said person to eat a lot of greens and stay away from corn and peanuts.....then i would close my eyes and think about the first purchase i would make as a new millionaire...and how frivolously i would spend the money....im sure the turd would be gross..but coming from a generation that live ins the now.....the pepsi generation...generation next....blah blah blah blah.....i would blow through the money in a year..just by impressing people with how much money i had...its just money...it comes and goes....i would by people weird things....like ford fusions and old datsun trucks....i would take a trip to the reese's peanut butter cup plant and buy literally a truck load of that sweet peanut butter filling...speaking of that...remember when reeses' peanut butter came out..you thought you were gonna get some of that peanut butter cup filling didnt you...well you were duped....might as well go back to jiffy.....i would sit down with mr reese himself and have a nice steak dinner while sipping on a bottle of 25 year pappy van winkle..
and finally....on the topic of bourbon.....what a glorious drink. i used to be a super duper beer goon. i belonged to beer clubs...and i i used to pride myself on distinguishing the taste of a stout over the taste of a porter..or taste the coriander out of one beer..and the Belgian hops out of another.... but as we all know..as we age..beer just leaves you peein every five minutes..and getting no where...bourbon...is so much cooler........yeah......cooler. let me explain. (before you go on thinking that im just a lush who likes to get drunk faster than beer can provide..which isnt the case at all...well maybe a little).
its kentucky....yes...some people dont get it...those people arent from kentucky. and that fine....we know something you dont. just keep this in mind when you consider the kentucky factor. kentucky is rich in tradition and culture....we have our own cuisine....our own dialect...and yes..hillbillies and rednecks..but we also have alot of famous people..and we are known for our bourbon horses and baseball bats.....abe licoln and jefferson davis....what is your state known for? yeah. thanks
the hydration factor....
drinking b and dc's with ice will naturally keep you hydrated you. beer will only give you a nasty hangover not to mention the dump you will take the next day if you drink a real cheap beer. im not obssesed with poop. but i am a child.
the variety....
there is sipping bourbon...there is mixing bourbon..the is so many bourbons to explore that i want to start a reading rainbow type show devoted to bourbon. and yes levar burton will host it. and i will even try to to a take on the original theme song.
the cost effectiveness vs. beer.....
you dont buy beer..you rent it...because once that seal is broken....its over. youre done..youre peeing every five minutes. with bourbon.......you own it...yeah...you go to a liquor store and think to yourself man i dont wanna pay for a handle of woodford reserve..thats like 50 bucks...but just remember you can drink of that for about three weekends by yourself. or one night with three other people..but if everyone is pitching up...so be it. its cheap. and cheap is good.
ive been working on the ultimate 80s compilation....its pretty amazing....alot of songs i havent heard..and you are talking to a dude...who is an idiot savant when it comes to 80s.....so....i leave you with this........one of those 80s songs that i hadnt heard..that is such an amazing song