NO MILK TODAY

for the past couple months i have been in shitty situation on the relationship front. its rough to have someone use your feelings and basically treat you unfair when all you want...is.....well you know.  i will be fine i suppose its not like it was ever serious. its like dealing with death kinda. you know.....its over its done and you never want to see that person again but at the same time you also liked that person alot and you cant talk to them again. most people have told be....that it went on too long the way it was for me to be treated like that. and im not perfect. but i tried and thats all i can say. respect and trust are really crucial. and when someone else doesnt have that for you....its a bad situation all around. you start to question yourself. and you dont think clearly and start to make rash decisions. and then you just become someone who will do anything to try to make it different....i guess i have always been one to not admit its over when its over. i just thought that at my age i wouldnt have to deal with high school games. but i did. and thats that. sure we move on. the other person gets what they want...at the expense of hurting your feelings. and its done. its funny how shitty people can treat each other sometimes...maybe not funny...just sad...its hard to think but there are people out there that do not ever have to deal with this type of shit...they get a pass. i guess sometimes its just the company you keep.

Man Eater

from a couple years ago. kudos to lee

Why does lack of sleep make you irritable?

right now i am annoyed. mostly by things i cant control. or have no say in.  needless to say im upset. i cant really articulate it......because if i did...it would just cause more annoyance......but its there.....oh yes its there........seems like i spend more time frustrated here of late...trying to keep my cool...trying to change...trying to be compromising....and feeling like i am getting nowhere...or nothing in return. like...i can be all those things...but.....sometimes you just feel like its all for nothing. and once again....it is frustrating.

ALL THESE THINGS IVE DONE....IN THE PAST WEEK.

wine drunk at up over. chris thought i went to jail that night.

first off...stop with the caps lock thing...its not yelling. its caps lock. nothing more. but because it makes some people feel uneasy...i will stop for now....personally i like it. looks nicer. whatev. secondly. i write real fast....real fast..most the time i dont read what i wrote...there will be typos. words misspelled.....bad grammar....wrong use of punctuation. not that i cant do it right. it more like i dont want to put the effort it. most of this is spontaneous itry to catch most of it with spell check...but sometimes i just dont care. im sorry you care. halloween. im tired of talking about this holiday...for me it was always about the candy..once i was too old for it....i let it go...its for kids...for kids to get candy.....not for adults to be spending money to dress up. cmon....besides that its just a pass for women to dress revealing. i dunno...i dont wanna be fourty and dressing up like a box of wheat thins or something. its cool if you wanna dress up it really is....im not gonna make fun of you for it...so dont call me a party pooper for not dressing up. lets respect each others decisions. ive been have spent the last two Saturdays doing nothing but watching football...and still i believe that the sec is the best college football conference out there...i really cant place second though. one thing i do know is its not the big east...just the fact that starting this week....the people who govern and decide the bcs are gonna have to start moving a big east teams up the ranks because they do not wanna destroy their precious system they have going on...so we will see more undeserved teams climing into the top ten in order to make a bcs bowl appearance. with that being said...tcu and boise state shall never deserve to play for the national championship until they play something akin to a sec schedule. boise....has only really beat one good team...and played a bunch of cupcakes...i personally think they should get a trial run in the big 12 with nebraska going to the big 10....but thats just me. louisville. you will get better...you better get better....but as soon as you do get better and win the bcs bowl bid and lose in the orange bowl..your gonna lose your coach...goes for most big east teams...its a weak conference....and it only has eight teams....not to mention i would rather be a rock star @ usc than the legend of morgantown. think about it. the beauty of college football is the fact that its not the pros....the pros have the same type of player in the same type of formation on both offense and defense...college has a team like navy still running the flexbone as opposed to good ole Michigan running the spread option..and the sec teams running the pro form as penn state and wisconsin still run that good ole big ten ball control run up the middle and pass no more than five yards. some would say that the big ten has better defense then the sec....if thats the case and i accept that as the truth....so be it...i would rather watch a football game that is 45-42 as opposed to a game that is 6-3. pro football.....you can kiss my ass. you are the best pro sport out there...but you still do not compare to the college game. i dont think you ever will. college there is alot of politics in your ranking system..and no one quite understands it..but it makes for great conversation. and assumptions........now real politics....i am proud to say..i have no idea who is who and what they astand for and it feels great. in the past i have been deeply into american politics....its the greatest sales pitch on earth...lets sit in a bar and argue the ying versus the yang...and hope we have changed the other persons minds....truth is it futile...once a lib always a lib..once a repub...always a repub......most people know how i feel..and they are offended by it....that is to say...the idea of true democracy where the states have more power and are allowed to decide more for the people inside their imaginary line rather than a small a district a couple hundred miles away. i suppose most people would assume i dont realize we live in a democratic republic ....but i do...and i think its kinda lame....i live in Kentucky....not the east coast...or the west coast...how could either one of those areas possibly understand whats best for me? ive been to both places..and i love it out there..i like how progressive it is and i like how there is just kinda this sort of moral realitivity....or lack there of any sort of morality...except those made by the fed. but this a rural state....a religious state...and a state very proud of its history. and if the people want to preserve that....and like they way its going...so be it...if i dont like..ill move right across the river...or else where... a couple years back....there was a protest in fountain square to overturn proposition 12 in California....i just couldn't help but feel so sorry and...yes a little better than everyone who went there....lemme explain....YOU ARE PROTESTING SOMETHING FOR A STATE YOU DO NOT EVEN LIVE IN.....YOU WEREN'T ALLOWED TO VOTE THERE ON IT....perhaps that was the proper use of the yelling caps...that so many of you have gotten mad at me for using....so be it. but think about it...thats like me setting up a protest at my house because the british wont repeal their color tv licensing system. to me its absurd. but for the most part thats politics...people get real passionate about certain issues..and you state how you feel...then someone starts to yell..then they blame bush..then the repub blames fdr ....next thing you know...we are blaming the british...the indians...all the way back to adam and eve.......stupid. yes i have may opine on certain subjects from time to time...but really in most cases i dont care....its tough to really stand for anything..or care about the govt...all i want is more of my money but not at the expense of losing a strong military and half way decent roads. other than that...everything else doesnt concern me...i dont own a house...i dont have a car payment...my credit sucks....im not in the upper tax bracket...i dont really use social services....and i am not really broke...and if i was...i would just work more....i wouldnt look to someone for help..well maybe my parents....but not the govt....i dunno...i guess its tough out there for all the people who have those things....im just a young punk......living in a punk house.(sike). seems like in most cases what matters are interpersonal relationships you have with other people..and how maybe that can help you grow as a person in life in relations to what you wanna be or who you wanna know....i am constantly inspired and amazed by people i meat...whether its for the best...or worst...its still cool to meet people. moving on. here of late i have been listening to the following.....maritime....its the lead singer from the promise ring...man...i loved that band so much.....and i only love maritime because he is in the band...not to mention really good song writing...but iuts kinda kurt cobain songwriting...you can never really figure out whats he is really singing about because its more prose than it is literal....and personally in my songwriting times...a could never do that...always felt a little weird to me....maybe i just was no good at it......hmmm. lets see i still listen to alot of metroschifter although her lately ive been listening to alot of their newest album...carbonistas....i just dont think ill ever get tired of them...last thursday we drank some red wine...which i will never do again..and i put on the sea and cakes first album...kinda notalgic album...used to listen to lit alot in Louisville and drive around country roads.........because i was emo back then..and wore 90's emo sweaters and drove a baby blue 87 cutlass supreme. ive been sleeping alot. im uneasy and confused about one aspect of my life right now.... compound that with the intensity of my job and a fifty hour work week..when im uncertain...or confused...i refuse to talk about it though...especially on here..this blog is about how bad ass i am....and i would hate for any of you to get the wrong idea.....oso bear...we have practiced in a couple weeks....thats pretty typical...life gets in the way...we are lazy right now...but i am still booking shows for us....and we are still trying to buy a van...so we can get outta town...we signed up for sxsw.....if we get accepted....we gotta figure out our van situation..and it will hafta be soon....no boy really wants to dig out of pocket to put towards a van but here lately ive been thinking about just fuckin sellin my car...its about to die anyways....and really...i want to just take it as far as i can....most people like...people in your family....really think you are stupid sometimes because you hold on to this dream of making a living playing music..but i think sometimes they dont realize...that you just cant stop at this point. i mean....what else do i do? what else makes me who i am? i am george the drummer. i play drums...i go to shows...i play shows..i like to stay up late and listen to out come the wolves and red medicine....maybe someday people will get it.